I grew up thinking that a lot of my worth as a person was tied to my body being thin and attractive.
I was under the impression that if I was pretty, and boys noticed me, that was a really good thing. If they were popular and athletic, even better. Somehow if THOSE boys noticed me I really meant something.
I spent a lot of my youth seeking out attention from boys, and linking what they wanted from me to my self worth. I did things that weren’t good for me, to fit in, and be who I thought they wanted me to be.
My body became a more valuable asset than my mind, my soul, or anything else I had to offer.
I was nothing but that. A pretty face and an attractive body.
After I got married I started putting on weight pretty rapidly.
Subconsciously I think I felt safer as a married woman if I wasn’t attractive to the opposite sex.
Any attention from a man makes me feel uncomfortable.
It also had a lot to do with depression and self worth issues.
I stopped taking care of myself.
Now my body is rebelling against it. Enough is enough it seems to be saying to me.
I wish that I had learned that my body was beautiful but that there were so many other parts of me that were too.
I was smart. I had a good heart. I could be loved, or even just liked, for just being me.
I wish someone had told me, from the very beginning, that it was better to be respected than desired.
I love this song so much. I listen to it often with my girls. I want them to know every word.
I want them to know that they just need to love themselves and be comfortable in their own skin.
I’m not always great at it…I have to try, try, try to remember that they are who they are.
It’s enough for all of us.